JEWISH SINGLES & DATING SERVICES IN THE NEWS

The festival of shedding light
Hanukkah makes it hip to be Jewish
By Amy Kuperinsky
Wednesday, December 13, 2006; Posted: 12:00 pm EST

It's that time of year. Yes, the radio stations roll out the old festive standby, only it's not terribly old, really. But yeah, it's way overplayed, like everything around Christmastime. You know the deal: Adam Sandler's "Chanukah Song (and Chanukah Song II)," assuring the uninitiated that "the C is silent." To celebrate, Jews will bring out the menorahs - of heirloom, pewter, glass, fiber-optic and plastic, jacked-up-five-candles-don't-work varieties. Esther Kustanowitz will attend a "holiday party," where latkes and eggnog will be served. But on Christmas, Matthew Karsh, Shoshanna Rikon and the better part of the Tri-state Jewry, if you will, are heading out to Chinese restaurants, possibly with a movie to follow.

"That's what you do," said Karsh, substantiating a seemingly incidental non-Christmas related tradition among Jews that stems from movie theaters and Chinese eateries being the few types of places open on Christmas Eve or Christmas. "My parents got married on Christmas," he said. "They said, 'We knew all our friends would be free that day.'"

Hanukkah, a religiously less significant holiday than heavyweights like Yom Kippur and Passover, has become a sort of event and centerpiece for a generation of young Jews who are visibly proud of their heritage. Sure, Christmas has long been a time for American Jews to feel marginalized in some way, raising questions of identity along with, "why doesn't my house have the pretty lights?"

"It's the season that you are the most aware that you're a minority," said J.J. Goldberg, editor in chief of The Forward, a national Jewish newspaper.

"Some people get resentful, it's not uncommon. You're surrounded by a barrage of mass culture that you're really not a part of and you're very aware that at the most basic level, who you are is about not participating and celebrating the birth of Jesus."

On a holiday when most things are considered oily (latkes, jelly doughnuts and anything fried in the symbolic substance), hipster Jewishness has become Jewcy. Last year, the organization, and now online magazine (jewcy.com), devoted to supporting Jewish youth culture threw a party hosted by Perry Farrell (born Perry Bernstein) ex-frontman of Jane's Addiction, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog (Robert Smigel) and Rachel Dratch from "Saturday Night Live." The New York Times wrote about the emergence of hipster modes of secular, cultural Jewish expression, like Jewcy and the Jewreverent magazine Heeb (heebmagazine.com), a presence cast as especially potent in the New York City metro area and its West Coast correspondent, Los Angeles.

Party up Sandler style
"Hanukkah is definitely a big party," said Rikon, chief executive officer of Shoshanna's Matches, a Manhattan-based Jewish matchmaking service. Rikon, 33, a Ridgewood native, said socializing on Hanukkah is a largely secular affair for many young Jews. "It's not because you're religious. You share common goals, a family background. It's not because you need someone to pray with. You embrace being Jewish, it's important to you, it's in your heart and soul. You wouldn't be excited about being Jewish if it wasn't important; you wouldn't need someone Jewish." She then paused and lowered her voice. "It's also your mother too. It's just in your background, in your mind."

Still, hip Hanukkah parties and something called a Matzoh Ball, held on Christmas Eve - currently a big night for Jewish singles - aren't the only signs of embracing young Jewish pride.

"It's all part of a larger package of identity," said Kustanowitz, 35, senior editor of PresenTense, a magazine geared towards 20 and 30-somethings dedicated to "Jewish life in the here and now," and writer for the blog Jewlicious. When she attended the Jewcy party, Kustanowitz saw Jews trying to make a cultural connection. "We also are creating an open conversation on Jewish life," she said, but noted PresenTense seeks to recognize that "Bergen County Judaism is certainly not Wisconsin Judaism. We're a global conversation." While Jewcy and Heeb are New York-generated entities, through bloggers Kustanowitz also found out about a hipster Hanukkah party in England called Jewdis.

Karsh, 34, also attended the Jewcy party. He got a kick out of wildman rocker Perry Farrell saying the "brucha," or blessing over lighting the menorah at the event, but acknowledged the pride in a historical frame. "I think there's a deeper context to it, it's kind of our way of saying F-U a little bit. Most places outside the country, there's still a strong negative perception of Jews."

Yet expectations of American Jewish life have evolved.

"We came to this country and it was all about assimilating here, it was all about going to Hebrew school and going to prayer," added Karsh. "No one wanted to make a statement and say, 'Here, I'm Jewish and I'm proud.' Third or fourth generation, it's not like that anymore. It's waking up on a Sunday and going and getting bagels, and a certain type of humor. It's people strong and proud of our identities."

Tradition!
Goldberg doesn't see a hipster secular movement as sudden or unexpected. "There's always been a strong secular subculture in America," he said. "Yiddish traditions, Passover as a holiday of liberation made into secular philosophical notions. Zionists built a culture in America around Israel and attachment to nationalism. It's a natural evolution of that. There's no hard, fast clear line between them."

"There's a huge amount of attention in the media to Jewish tradition," said Goldberg. "It's just sort of everywhere. I see a subculture of unconventional modes of Jewish expression. People college-age and older. I think the angst about feeling left out at Christmastime has more to do with kids, grade school and even more high school - all this pressure to conform, when you're in a personality development phase. It's hard to be the only kid that's left out. The hip Heeb Jews that have caught on in the East Village, they're not of much use to kids who go to school in San Antonio."

For a sort of modern Jewish pride rooted in comedy like Sandler's and what Kustanowitz calls the "open-bar-with-latkes" scene, religious purists might decry dilution of ritual. But many see new tradition, a specific product of Jewish American culture that hypes up Hanukkah at the time when Christmas is such a big deal.

"It's become bigger in Jewish tradition in America," said Goldberg. "For a lot of Jewish families, it's one of the high points of the year. Surveys show that it is one of the most largely celebrated holidays besides Passover because it strikes a chord; it fills a need this time of year. I think something's going on in America that no amount of ideology is going to stop ... people who want to be as Jewish as they feel like won't go away. The idea that they're going to be stigmatized, froze out and driven away isn't going to happen."

"I don't think the Jewcy party in any way disregarded the religion," Karsh added. "I think it embraced it. If it brings people into the fold, no matter how the message is portrayed, I think it's a good thing."

Jew know them, but did Jew really know?
"Did you know __*insert random famous person's name here*__ is Jewish??"

Such is the question that serves as a classic talking point for informal conversation between Jews and non-Jews alike. Sandler memorialized this mechanism in his song, now the most recognized Hanukkah ditty outside of "Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel."

"When Adam Sandler came out with his Hanukkah song, it was such a relief because we finally had something that wasn't about Jesus with his manger," said Kustanowitz. "Today's Jews are seeking cultural affiliation.

"Being Jewish in the U.S. is a very visible identity because we are visible in popular culture. People see 'Seinfeld' and think they know Jews. To an extent they do, they know the New York Jew. There's a lot more to it but people talk about food identifiers: blintzes, kugel, latkes or any of those things and people are more comfortable with cultural identifiers because there's no religious affiliation. Nowadays there's a negative view of religious practice."

"You turn on shows like 'The Simpsons,' '(Da) Ali G (Show),' there's a lot of Jewish humor in it," said Karsh. "There's definitely a lot of pride in recognizing famous Jews." Yes, if we apply Sandler's parlance, Borat (Sacha Baron Cohen), to his horror, drinks Manischewitz wine.

"Part of the reason why Jews play the game," Kustanowitz said, is - like any number of Jewish foods, hipster parties or "Chai Maintenance" T-shirts - "connection." Sure, Robert Zimmerman might not ring as cool as Bob Dylan, nor Allan Konigsberg as iconic as Woody Allen, but they're the same dudes.

"Jews are natural storytellers," Kustanowitz continued. "There's a reason we're called the people of the book. That certainly doesn't recede once you talk about actors. Stepping into other roles that would appeal to people with a history of persecution, Sandler outs them. We want to relate to celebrities just like any member of the American culture. By identifying them as Jewish, we're bringing ourselves one step closer to them."

Maplewood's Zach Braff, who grew up in a Jewish household, made his protagonist Jewish in "Garden State." Celebrities with half-Jewish and otherwise fractional Jewish heritage including Gwyneth Paltrow (her father is descended from a line of rabbis) have spoken out about their pride in being part Jewish.

"People still change their name to succeed in show business but they usually do it because it sounds catchier," said Kustanowitz. "Today's celebrities are proud to be Jewish." Not too shabby.

Eight crazy ideas

When gentiles are conducting their usual Xmas revelry, you are Jewish and bored. Why haven't you planned anything? You know this happens every year. Not to worry, Exit has compiled a list of eight things you can do to while away the hours.

1. Watch "The Christmas Story." Why? Because it's funny and there's usually some 24-hour marathon of the thing on TV. You can wax nostalgic about Ovaltine, leg lamps and "fa-ra-ra-ra-ra" while you wax-off your drippy menorah (see No. 4).

2. Go to Chinatown like everyone else.

3. Claim Chrismukkah and get your Xmas on with a bit of oil-fried additive, combining latkes with eggnog, sufganiot (those jelly doughnut thingies) with brandy, and dancing to Adam Sandler and Irving Berlin, two Jews with great yuletide hits.

4. Do like the Christians and go retail. Buy a hipster- as-hell "Challah Back" T-shirt from shirtsandladders. com ($24) or browse through chosencouture.com to pick up a "Jews for Jeter" ($28) or "He'brew: The Chosen Beer" shirt ($25), or something more practical, like wax-off, a spray that's supposed to prevent wax drippings from clinging to your menorah ($6.95).

5. We know it's not Passover, but recline anyway in some really expensive designer menorah couch, like Hollandia's Gravity Zero Hanukkah Versant ($7,949 to $9,799.99).

6. Just go to someone's family Christmas. Back in the day, New Testament style, they were all Jews anyway.

7. Think about what Zach Braff and Natalie Portman are doing on Hanukkah and decide it must be better than what you're doing.

8. Consult Wikipedia (you're probably on the Internet if you're bored anyway) and discover the multitude of actors that are part Jewish. Mandy Moore, Scarlett Johansson? Who knew?